Each week it seems as though I’m reporting on all the fun of the (un)fair. Every game results in one happy player that has ridden their luck to the big top, leaving the rest to moan about other players‘ poor decisions and unexpected good fortune. Well, cross my palm with silver and I’ll tell you the future… (because I’m a different kind of fakir).
Dumb luck has been riding around for eternity, and always will be. And in the vernacular, where she stops, nobody knows! A lucky seven of us buckled up for this week’s ride (shoulda‘, coulda‘, woulda‘ been 8, but some Finn was missing). Our ride began, and it was all pretty smooth – at least to begin with. But after the first hour, some wanted to go faster, and (metaphorically) started screaming. A lot of chips were flying around, mostly from the big fish at the table.
There are some security measures available, like handles on a brightly coloured coffin. So when the action got intense, I wanted to Holdem, before remembering that it’s better to just sit back, relax, and let the whole thing play out to the end of the ride. The first three to leave the “amusement park” were all low-stacks at the time of their demise. Robert, Ug and Sean each feeling the need to make a move to try to secure a better position – but each ending up being ejected from their seat.
With 4 of us left and 30k (25% of the chips) in front of me, I was happy to be holding my own. Well, nobody else was going to… but before you could say “smutty”, my own roller coaster was about to begin. I wasn’t seeing much in my hand (“that’s what she said”, etc) but that’s when the poker gods looked down and said, that poor sod’s had enough. My KJs had turned into trip Ks on the flop, and I was only against Hadley, who was first to act.
“All-in!” she announced, with minimal delay. I briefly wondered if she had a better kicker than my Jack, before correctly dismissing that thought. She was making a move, and this time the luck was all mine. Or so I thought. Along with the cowboys on the flop was a lil‘ ol‘ 4. And Hadley was holding a pair of them that gave her a boat. Only a J or a K could save me, but there was no safety net. After a long count, I was still in the game with 1100 in chips, with the big blind now at 4k. Essentially, I was still breathing (just) but without a pulse.
There was no time to process the situation or write a will, because on the next hand, I was the big blind. It was obviously a golden opportunity for the others to deal me a fatal blow, so everyone called. If I won, the quadrupling would give me just over one BB. I looked down at my cards and found pocket 8s. Maybe, just maybe… turned into a glorious temporary reprieve.
With my monster one blind (and a bit), I pushed A-I, and then again a few more times, until about 10 minutes later, I was back to my 30k chip-stack. It was all a blur. Rusty was now the low stack, but not by a great deal. He pushed with his raggy A, and after pondering my chances of meeting Candy Floss or Lucky Heather, I decided to call with KTh. I paired my King and Rusty was gone.
That left Hadley, Tom and myself to battle it out. I was still a bit dazed at my outrageous change of luck, so when Tom went over the top all-in, I happily called with my KQ. Tom showed pocket 8s (“Hey! I remember those!”) and despite it looking like an even race, the flop gave Tom a set and I was drawing dead. Lady Luck is indeed fickle, and I finished my ride with fuckle.
The heads up was, as I imagined, a brief affair. After all, Hadley had set the heads-up “gold standard” in 2024 (8 wins from 8). I disappeared for just a minute and came back to see it was all over. Hadley had played J9 and a Jack on the flop gave her top pair, and (I believe) she also had a possible straight draw. Cue the all-in.
Meanwhile, in a twist of fate (accompli) Tom had flopped a virtually unassailable flush, and went home with the big points – and probably a goldfish in a bag.