Spoiler alert: TOM WINS – ALL HAIL THE KING! (Editor’s note: I think he drinks lager, but I’ll let it go this time)
And so it came to pass
Tom’s dream of kicking arse
Especially versus one heads up
Almost as if he’d won the cup
But that would be a farce
You can stop reading now, Tom. No, really. Whaddya want? A fucking medal?
Dear readers of the grown-up variety, it’s with a heavy heart and a great sense of guilt, that I have to report that Tom won the game yesterday. I know, I know, it was ME in the heads-up that had the ultimate responsibility, and I let everybody down.
Unfortunately I played complete rubbish (AQ), whereas Tom was surprisingly brilliant (pocket Ks). I don’t know what came over me, but I’m off to the dry cleaners later to sort that out.
In the meantime, I suggest we all learn that Tom is now a farce, sorry force, to be reckoned with. No longer the reckless gambler distracted by the disappearance of all his beer, Tom has learned to order 2 beers at a time. He’s also learned patience, so now he can play with himself. But seriously, the boy done good, innit?
Jake didn’t get too many good hands, and wound up pushing with 67s, but ran into Rusty’s A7c. There was no sign of the devil to save him.
Then our latest recruit, Tomas (not Tom), picked up pocket 5s and made his move. But Ug was unfazed and his own pocket pair (JJ) held.
Rusty’s K4h made trip Ks AND the flush draw, but Steve also tripped as he was JKoff, and a heartless river became 4King hell for Rusty.
Robert then pushed with some mongrel cards, but Ug had the pedigree hand (K9) to send him packing – good boy!
And it was Deja Vu all over again & again when Sean pushed his remaining chips with A7, only for Tom to masterfully call with AJ.
The last 3 saw Ug flop a flush draw with his suited 95, but Tom was now on a roll and his paired Q held good to put him heads up with his arch nemesis, Steve.
It was all over before you could say „Let me show you how to play cowboys“ or „Where’s the barmaid gone?“
Epilogue: Tom celebrated at the bar afterwards, sharing his new wisdom with the “little people”. Next stop: WSOB – the World Series Of Beer-drinking.